?

Log in

a mark . a mission . a brand . a scar [entries|friends|calendar]
Don't call it a comeback

[ website | It never is too late to reconstruct ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[06 Aug 2005|09:20pm]
I haven't used this thing in forever...well forever is a longass time, but I haven't written in this in quite awhile. I check back every so often and check my friends pages and see what they are up to but that is the extent of it. I don't know what made me write in this, I guess just a lot of thoughts were going through my head and I couldn't keep track of them all and so I wanted to get them down in writing (typing). Now they all seem to have floated away. I'm constantly thinking, I feel like my mind never stops. I'm a little obsessive compulsive these days and its making me kindof crazy. For example, today I was watching sex in the city on HBO on demand and I found myself hearing a line and then repeating it in my head about 5 times, then rewinding it(numerous times) so I could hear them say it over and over again. I did this almost every other line. I have no clue why. Now you must all think I'm crazy, not that I care or anything, I am crazy. That's another thing, I'm always calling myself crazy to one of my friends and he always tells me 'don't give yourself too much credit, you're not that crazy.' I don't think he understands the extent of my craziness. I have all these weird thoughts, all the time and I'm always wondering if anyone else thinks this way. I always express how I feel and what I think on important matters and in situations where I find myself needing to fight for what I believe and think is right. But then there's all the other crazy thoughts that I keep inside of myself, the ones that if let out, would brand me as crazy or land me in a mental institution. And of course this sounds a bit extreme and over-exaggerated but it is quite the possibility....that's how demented I think some of my thoughts are. Now does the fact that I recognize that my thoughts are fucked up make me more messed up or less messed up? This is me...I have fucked up thoughts, I recognize and embrace them, and don't do anything about them. Would I be worse off if I didn't realize that my thoughts and feelings and perceptions of certain situations were insane or am i semi-sane because i recognize my messed up mind? Do I even make any sense? To me these questions make sense...but I'm not sure if you understand where I'm going with this. Well I'm really not going anywhere with this but you get my drift, or don't you? 'Okay fuck you jasmine seriously shutup' Sorry that's me talking to myself inside my head....

So anyway
Have you ever tried that chloraseptic throat numbing shit? I love it. I use it all the time and it makes my throat numb and that just feels fantastic. I'm glad I can appreciate something like that, one bottle of it can light up my day. You know what else makes me soo happy? When I have a huge stomach ache and i burp...nothing feels better than that and i truly mean it. I'm sure something does feel better than that, I have yet to experience it though, so until I do, burping to relieve stomach cramps is my euphoria. Okay peaceski <3
2| tore me down

[10 Oct 2004|04:15pm]
FUCK EVERYONE...i seriously hate almost every person in plainview. people are such fuckers. and they are fake. and need to just not exist. like its not me whose fucked up. its everyone else. im confident in that fact. yes its a fact. you all suck not me, but you. i have decided to isolate myself from the world. fuck you. kbye. fuckyou.

[09 Oct 2004|09:27pm]
I'm bringing this thing back...I kinda missed it. I don't have much to say. Been really busy with college applications, can't wait until they are done, should be done within the next 2 days. That will be a big stress reliever. Senior year...semi-overrated, but good. Still a lot of work, still stressful, but much easier. You can say and do as you please and just not give a fuck about anything or anyone. There are an abundance of annoying freshmen girls, fun to torture them. There are also some good ones. I'm generally happy about everything going on right now....thanks to michael :-) Whoring myself around, its fun...<3penis<3 (little boy and big boy penis)...okay byee

updating for zachary (idk your middle name/you look hott in glasses) mantell [20 Sep 2004|06:29pm]
Hi, so I haven't updated in the longest time. In fact I don't even use this journal anymore...but Zach informed me that he missed this piece of shit so I decided that I must update it just this once for him. Hi I don't even have anything to say. I like boys...boys are hott...I also like Jessica Rad. Last night I soo wanted her. I wanted her to come over and do me in the a because she is seriously a sex goddess...believe me I would know. School is going pretty well. I'm taking 3 AP's and some other challenging classes, but I also have 2 off periods so its a really good balance. I have a lot of friends in my classes and my ap gov teacher is seriously hott. Like when you first see him hes not hott, but he has long hair and when he doesn't gel it I like it, plus he has the best personality, absolutely hillarious. I seriously have problems cuz I wanna do my 40 year old teacher. And I seriously like would do him hes not just hott. Okay I'm seriously a fuck face I don't even know what I'm rambling about, I just figured if I was going to make an entry for a hott boy I should at least make it semi-decent...I'm done with this, but next time I'll post naked pictures of Zach...I'll get him to let me take them.

[09 May 2004|12:31pm]
I'm updating
holy shit is that possible?
i'm to lazy to summarize my life lately (it basically amounts to nothing so dont worry about it)
-many people piss me off
-some people do not piss me off
-the sats were fucking hard and i think i got like a 70 on them, no not a 700 a 70...
-new york minute is overrated
-today is mothers day and i have no one to clean my room
-i smell---good
-volunteering makes you feel----good
-michael philip rutcofsky is-----god
5| tore me down

[29 Apr 2004|02:59pm]
i haven't updated in forever
heyyy
i will
bye ;)
8| tore me down

survey? stolen from darren [10 Apr 2004|10:44pm]
- 10 current favorite songs in no order -
10)"8th World Wonder"-Kimberly Locke
9) "The Floor" Rooney
8) "I can do that"-A Chorus Line
7) "My Coco"-Stellastarr
6) "I'm Shakin"-Rooney
5) "The First Cut is the Deepest"-Sheryl Crow
4) "Penny and me"-Hanson
3) "She will be Loved"-Maroon 5
2) "Amazing Again"-Matt Nathanson
1) "Frayed Ends"-Midtown

- 9 all-time favorite movies in no order -
9) Catch me if you can
8) A beautiful mind
7) what a girl wants
6) fight club
5) zoolander
4) the girl next door
3) finding forrester
2) hot wet american summer
1) camp nowhere

-8 Favorite TV Shows-
8) Degrassi
7) Real world
6) Made
5) As told by ginger
4) Doug
3) full house
2) saved by the bell
1) pimp my ride

- 7 Favorite CDs -
7) alanis morisette-jagged little pill
6) alanis morisette-under rug swept
5) blessid union of souls-walking off the buzz
4) brand new-your favorite weapon
3) brand new-deja entendu
2) cursive-the ugly organ
1) saves the day-stay what you are

- 6 favorite places to visit -
6) California
5) Puerto Rico
4) Maryland
3) Atlantic City
2) Texas
1) Las Vegas

- 5 boys that you don't mind-
5) Levin
4) Aaron
3) Josh
2) Murphy
1) Kramer

- 5 girls that rock your socks-
5) Rachi
4) Kate
3) Alana
2) Micki
1) LaurSap

- 4 things you absolutely can't live without -
4) chapstick
3) showers
2) gum
1) slippers

- 3 favorite beverages -
3) pina colada
2) diet root beer
1) diet peach snapple

- 2 all-time favorite books -
2) A streetcar named desire
1) the privilege of youth

- 1 item you never leave home without -
1) chapstick
5| tore me down

[09 Apr 2004|02:23pm]
I haven't brought my camera anywhere this whole vacation
I finally decided to not be lazy and take a picture or two
Rachi and I went on an adventure around plainview
Results:

Random picture we took on manetto hill road---umm I have a problem w/sticking my tongue out when I smile.

Rachi was sad because she missed Michael and had NO WAY of getting in touch with him.

Rachi was harlem shakin ittt

More harlem shakeee

While Rachi was doing this she was also saying "I'm humping this pole pretending its Michael..."
5| tore me down

[07 Apr 2004|02:21am]
Hi wow I haven't updated this thing in forever.
I've been so busy with SAT work and such.
It's definitely not fun.
Josh Sason is really sexy.
I just had to write that because he is definitely one of the sexiest people ever.
This vacation includes:
-lots of sleeping
-lots of visits to the tanning salon
-no eating(passover food sucks)
-lots of gyming
-lots of nothing basically
movies i want to see=mean girls, confessions of a teenage drama queen, the prince and me, 13 going on 30--if these interest you, leave a message, we'll go together.
12| tore me down

[08 Feb 2004|09:57am]
I'm in the worst fucking mood ever, but I know alana likes whn I update so I'm doing this for her...
This weekend was SING, we all put in soooo much work for it, and I think it really showed in our skit and dances and such. We didn't win because SING is rigged and seniors always win, but everyone said our script was 10000x better and funnier and that we should have won, and hearing that is enough satisfaction anyway. Here are pictures from the weekend and stuff...ps i want to die :-)


sam(cutest girl ever)-me-dave-lau

Karina eatin her BK-Jeremy is the sweetest boy ever, because he was exhausted and karina was hungry and he offered to take her out to get something, i <3 jerbear

all the pics from last night came out like shit...so yea not puttig them up
12| tore me down

[31 Jan 2004|01:00am]
heres a preview of tonite...
the rest will be up later kiss kiss

-Me, chrsitopher, jenny, paps, and j. buchs-

Way too lazy to put pictures, but I figure i must summarize...
So last night tu skadre was great...zachy i love youu!!!! 3mw was fucking ill as shit, i got to see don which made my night :-)
Sally poopcakes is a cutie
me and jeremy banged several times
kelty chris is as cute as ever
schatzy took his shirt off...nuff said
jenny and ashley are twins and i love them
erica randi and sam looked as cuteee/hott as ever
karina was lookin sexy, and sportin a bud around her arm
umm j.buchs was there and hes cool
ryan is a coool kid and he is funny and he humped christopher john and him and sal made poops together in the bathroom
met many el-jay people....and sorry if i didnt mention u...that was my way of trying to mention everyone i saw

-dw alana i didnt forget u...best for last what what?-my BESTEST friend i loveeeee uuuu and loveee spending time w/u!!--julie is quite cool as well!!

today went to the mall w/love of my life, jaclyn, and sally poopcaks called and him and jer came and met up w/us....i saw EVERYONE at the mall and when i say everyone i mean everyone....we had a cute time at the mall, and jer the experienced driver drove us home in the cartoon mobile, i must sayyy hes an excellent driver....now im off to the movies

tmw-baking cookies and watching lizzie mcguire movie w/sals sister

ps-hi MICKI, kristen, rachel, amanda, lauren, danaaaaaa, jesssss, and BRETT yea i saw y'all tooo...HI MICKIIII HIII tehe
10| tore me down

[24 Jan 2004|05:04pm]
hiiii jennny

leave a comment if u want, or don't, or maybe u can, i dont know im not sure, im not even here, but im so there, but im also here, u can leave a comment or not, i might not even read it, but im gonna read it
3| tore me down

[15 Jan 2004|09:33pm]
I stole this from matty g



Sorry but christopher looks absolutely adorable here

Mush you rock my socks
and i <3 u cuz ur gay

[15 Jan 2004|05:33pm]
okay so i posted about jewelry like a month and a half ago, probably more...
I have finally got a good amount of stuff made
rings, bracelets, necklaces
Hopefully I'll have a website up soon
until then
e-mail me at kissmyaxexoxo@aol.com
I'll send u pictures, prices, shipping info and all that good stuff

xalanananax (3:30:30 PM): update your journal. [11 Jan 2004|03:34pm]
I'm updating this for Alana
I am lazy and never update this thing
This first week after vacation was hectic, I had to make up a lot of drivers ed classes, had SING rehearsals and just a bunch of other crap, but the weekend came quick and it was a fun weekend. Friday night I went to dinner w/jenny and lauren at la piazza, we saw erica randi and sam there it was nice to see them all. We went tanning after and then we went back to my house for a slumber party, haha. My brother had a ton of friends over so it was fun and we hung out with them for a little while and just acted stupid and then some other people came over for a few minutes, and then lauren and jennys friend picked us up and we went out for a little then came back to my house at like 2 or something. Then we decided to watch the ring, lauren already saw it so she fell asleep, I ended up getting scared on the 6th day and so we turned it off and went to bed, we finished it up the next morning. Then yesterday I went to the mall w/karina and i bought a book, ha im such a nerd. I'm going to the movies in a little while, and I hate that tomorrow is the start of a new week. But I do love alana...byebye
4| tore me down

[08 Jan 2004|04:30pm]
my grandma lives in cali on dohini drive
guess who else lives on dohini drive
the osbournes haha thats soo random
5| tore me down

[06 Jan 2004|12:20am]
I can't sleep
My dad's in California right now
he wrote me an e-mail, it might not seem funny, but if you knew my dad it would be funny

Hi Jasmine I got the meassage but it was hard to read .
I miss you and love you too. I am here with Jonathan at a place called GROVE, is a nice Mall
Give mom a great KISS for me.
Love DAD

[04 Jan 2004|02:13pm]
my broter is in california with my dad right now (of course one of the only times i choose not to go) and so he just called and said, guess who i saw last night? and I'm like who?, thinking it wasn't anyone too cool, and he's like the cast of the OC...aka adam fucking brody was there! He said he talked to them for a little while, they were just in some random arcade or something, yea I'm totally jealous.
12| tore me down

[01 Jan 2004|03:24pm]
My brother asked me to make him a mix, I thought it was funny,and now I will share i with you...


maroon 5
hey ya/maybe another song
tu pac biggie song, trying to live?
jason mraz songs
busta rhymes/ mariha carrie
big yellow taxi
clay aiken
shaggy
pick some other please
chingy
james taylor
neil young maybe
beatles
where is the love
any justin timberlake song(he's so hot) hahahah
beyonce

NO BRITTNAY-NO MADONNA
tore me down

[28 Dec 2003|07:58pm]
i've become addicted to eyeliner
i don't wear any makeup anymore but eyeliner
and i absolutely am addicted really and truly
i put it on when i get out of the shower
and i put on like 5000 pounds of it and oh how i love it
and now a tribute to jet black eyeliner





Don't even bother commenting and telling me how much of a loser I am for doing that, cause i already know, and oh how i LOVE it.
8| tore me down

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]